Hilarious chronicle of the life of a 30-something woman who wants to lose weight, stop smoking, develop inner poise, and form a functional relationship with a responsible adult.

What do you do when your girlfriends sixtieth birthday party is the same day as your boyfriends thirtieth? Is it better to die of Botox or die of loneliness because youre so wrinkly? Is it wrong to lie about your age when online dating? Is it normal to get fewer followers the more you tweet? If you put lip plumper on your hands do you get plump hands? Is sleeping with someone after two dates and six weeks of texting the same as getting married after...